The Newsletter from Parents Association of Kodomo no Ie
PAPAS & MAMAS
1: Serendipity2: Save Power, Save Money
3: Autism Part III -- The DIR/Floortime Model
4: Husbands and Wives
5: Editor’s note:
No.33 June 2008 Editor: Yu
Serendipity
The word serendipity was formed by English author Horace Walpole (1717-1797) from Serendip (also Serendib), an old name for Sri Lanka, in reference to a Persian tale, The Three Princes of Serendip, whose heroes "discovered, quite unexpectedly, great and wonderful good in the most unlikely of situations, places and people." Merriam-Webster Dictionary describes serendipity as "the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for".
I like to think that I have a knack for serendipity, although I'm sure this is a phenomenon that many people enjoy. I love to experience unexpected connections and see where those connections take me. I think it is a skill which children are especially good at – perhaps they are more willing than adults to notice and follow these interesting connections.
Last week, I was chatting with an electrician who was working on my house. As we chatted about home repair, he happened to mention the house his father lives in (a stone house which was built by his grandfather). The description of this house suddenly seemed familiar to me...How did I know about this electrician's father's house? It turns out this house was a topic of discussion during a City Council meeting that I attended. I was at the meeting because my neighborhood was under consideration for Landmark District Status. I remember the Council also agreed to designate this stone house as a Historic Landmark. The electrician said if I was at that meeting, then I must have seen his dad (a big burly man), because his dad spoke. And true enough, I did remember that man spoke – he was sitting right in front of me! Serendipity.
But I have an even better example of Serendipity:
Meet Kate, a 4th year medical school student at Boston University, and a graduate of MIT. As part of her training, she wants to do a four week rotation in Pediatric Radiology, and her request is accepted by Harbor-UCLA Medical Center in Torrance California. Since the duration of the training is 4 weeks, she needs a place to stay for a month, and decides to place an advertisement in the Journal of American Medical Association (JAMA): "Medical Student seeking housing for one month, near Harbor-UCLA Medical Center. No car. – K. Kelly"
Meet Nichole, a 3rd year medical school student at Harbor-UCLA Medical Center. She shares her Redondo Beach apartment with two other women. She is browsing through JAMA. She sees an ad from "K. Kelly" who needs a place to stay for a month. And sees that "K. Kelly" has no car. Although she's never responded to an ad of any kind before in her life, Nichole tells her roommates about the ad, and they discuss it. They didn't know this "K. Kelly", but their apartment had plenty of space, and "K. Kelly" didn't need a car because Nichole drove to Harbor-UCLA every day. And importantly, Nichole and her two single roommates thought perhaps "K. Kelly" was a man. They agreed to the plan, and Nichole answers the ad.
Meet Greg, a Lieutenant in the United States Air Force, stationed at Los Angeles Space and Missile Center after graduating from MIT. One day he gets a cryptic postcard from his friend, Kate. She's coming to Los Angeles for a month for a med school rotation, and staying in Redondo Beach. She wondered "Is that near you?", and added "I'll be there before Thanksgiving."
Greg is happy that Kate will be visiting. They were friends in college, and it would be fun to see her. She didn't say when she'd be arriving... but since it was now close to Thanksgiving, he thought he'd try calling the phone number she gave him in the postcard.
Nichole answers the phone. Some guy is calling for Kate, but Kate doesn't arrive until tomorrow. That's weird. I hope this guy isn't some sort of stalker. Not trusting the caller, she decides to say very little. Meanwhile Greg is trying to find out where in Redondo Beach his friend will be. He mentions that he once lived on Clark Lane in Redondo Beach, but he currently lives in Hermosa Beach. Nichole is now convinced this caller ("Greg") could be a weirdo, and decides not to tell him that her apartment is also on Clark Lane. She tells him that Kate is not here, and she'll leave a message that "Greg" called.
The following evening, Greg gets a call from his friend Kate. She's here in Redondo Beach. All is well. Greg comes over to visit. And he meets Nichole and Nichole's roommates too. A few months later, Greg and Nichole start to date.
Greg and Nichole eventually get married, and have two children, Kazuo and Eiji. Their children attend Kodomo No Ie, and Greg writes for Mama's and Papas. Now's that's Serendipity! (By Greg Harrison)
Save Power, Save Money
With spring comes the usual cleaning house, yard sales, and for me, taking stock of whatever improvements I can make for the house. Food and gasoline prices are skyrocketing this year, so I’m making a list of how to make the house more energy efficient to save money on our gas and electric bills.
Our house was built in 1993, but the overall design isn’t very energy efficient. For one, heat gets trapped upstairs during the summer months. Ultimately, I will need to replace all the old windows with more efficient ones, but this requires a sizable monetary investment. So for now, I’ve concentrated on smaller, less costly ways of improving the bottom line. Luckily, we have a fan in every room and I replaced all the old ones with Energy Star rated electric fans that use less energy, and they keep the upstairs rooms comfortable.
I put all our computers and TVs on power strips that can be turned on/off when needed. You’d be surprised at how much power an electric device uses when it’s supposedly “off.” The strips also have surge protectors on them in case the voltage suddenly increases or decreases. These power spikes can really damage electronic equipment.
Another easy fix was replacing all the old light bulbs with new CFL energy efficient ones. A 60-watt CFL uses only 13 watts of energy. In general, these bulbs do cost more than the old bulbs, but I bought the 60-watt six packs at Home Depot and Lowe’s for about seven dollars, and sometimes these stores offer additional rebates. For example, I spent about sixty dollars on new bulbs. How much did I save on my electric bill? Previous bills ran about $100 to $120 a month. My first bill after replacing all the bulbs was $50. Not bad. CFL bulbs will likely be around for a few more years until the price of LED bulbs come down. LED bulbs are even more energy efficient and do not have the disposal problems that CFL bulbs traditionally have.
My ultimate goal is to install solar power collectors on the backside of the house. That side faces the sun and is unobstructed during the day. The size of the unit I have in mind will power the house and the cars. I would like to buy an electric car like the Chevy Volt (which will be on the market in 2010). The solar collectors will generate enough extra power to sell back to the electric company. Unfortunately, out-of–pocket cost for an install is roughly thirty thousand to fifty thousand dollars even with the current meager State and Federal rebates. The typical system last 35 years, and it does add resale value to the home. But most importantly, it creates energy independence from the oil and power companies with their rising costs. For me it’s a very sound investment for the future.
If you’d like to learn more about some of the items mentioned in this article, please check out: Flex Your Power at www.fypower.org and 2010 Chevrolet Volt at www.gm-volt.com. There is a new DVD documentary called “The 11th Hour.” It is produced and narrated by actor Leonardo DiCaprio. You can find out more on the film at www.11thhourfilm.com. (By Robert Barr)
Autism Part III -- The DIR/Floortime Model
In this segment, I will discuss Dr. Stanley I. Greenspan’s DIR/Floortime model. His book, “Engaging Autism,” can help parents and caregivers not only understand how children with autism or autistic spectrum disorders (ASDs) perceive the world, but also provides detailed information on how floortime therapy can successfully engage these children.
DIR stands for a “developmental, individual-difference, relationship-based” approach, so let us look at each of these terms in greater detail, beginning first with “developmental.”
Developmental Stages for Early Detection
Dr. Greenspan introduces six early developmental stages, which are usually mastered by neuro-typical children by age three (around 42 months). He further explains that autistic children show signs of delay sometime during these six stages, and advocates the use of the DIR/Floortime model to help pediatricians and parents identify and address problems early on, rather than waiting for full-blown symptoms to appear at a later age. The stages are:- Shared attention and regulation (e.g. turning one’s head toward Mom’s voice): 0-3 months
- Engaging and relating (e.g. smiling at Mom): 2-5 months
- Long chains of back-and-forth emotional signaling and shared problem-solving (e.g. showing Dad a toy): 10-18 months
- Creating ideas (e.g. interactive pretend play with others): 18-30 months
Building bridges between ideas, logical thinking (“I want to go outside because I want to play): 30-42 months.
Dr. Greenspan argues that emotions are the key to mastering these stages. For example, an infant learns to turn her head toward her mother’s voice because the voice creates “pleasurable” emotions in her. However, biologically based challenges can hinder the healthy emotional development of children with ASD. At which stage a child with ASD begins to show signs of delay depends on the severity of these biological challenges; however, delays at the fourth stage are common. Each stage must be mastered before moving on to the next, like building a tower of wooden blocks, in which each successive level is built on the previous one. Furthermore, just as a tower of blocks can come tumbling down, children can regress in these stages because of sensory overload (which I’ll explain in the next section) and other unknown reasons (some claim vaccinations, etc.). How long the regression lasts varies by individual, and sometimes even by day with the same individual. It’s just like anyone else—we can have a bad day, and sometimes, even a bad week, right?
At the beginning of his floortime therapy, Nathan was assessed to see where he was at in terms of these stages. He was 5 years old but hadn’t yet acquired complete competency in Stage 5, and thus Stage 6 had not yet been mastered as well. His therapist and I behaved in a very animated and enthusiastic manner for each 1-hour-and-45-minute session to keep him motivated in the joint activities, whatever he had initiated. We played lots of good-guy-bad-guy scenarios, including Star Wars and Pokemon battles, just to name a few. When Nathan regressed down the developmental ladder because the therapist opposed his idea with the purpose of challenging him, we kept narrating for him what a neuro-typical child would verbalize and behaved enthusiastically in order to bring him up the ladder. I felt like a cheerleader-on-demand.
Individual Differences
All children, with or without disabilities, are unique in the way they experience the world through their senses. Dr. Greenspan advocates that parents, therapists, and other caregivers can help children on the autistic spectrum develop and become more flexible by tailoring to these individual differences. For example, a neuro-typical infant can hear Mommy’s voice, while at the same time perceiving the dryer running in the background, the sunlight coming in from the window, and the warm air from the heater. An infant at risk for ASD, however, might get irritated with the sensation of the warm air from the heater, among other things, and as a result, not hear Mommy’s voice. Each individual processes incoming sensory data differently and responds differently to them, as well. He can be hyper-sensitive (over-reactive) or hypo-sensitive (under-reactive) to the information.To illustrate what a child with ASD goes through every day, one particular parent-training class required us to solve word-search puzzles while exposed to a barrage of stimuli. Fluorescent lights were switched on and off. The television blasted static, white-noise from the “off-channel.” Bubbles, beads, feathers were thrown at us. Someone blew air on the back of our neck, while someone else brushed our arms with a paint brush. It was crazy. Some parents “turned off” these distractions and determined to solve the puzzles. Some just gave up and didn’t bother to try, and others got irritated, even angry inside. It was an eye-opening experience for me. The sensory input that neuro-typical children can successfully process feels like a crazy barrage of stimuli to an ASD child, and can send him into sensory overload, or a “dis-regulated” state. To non-trained eyes, this dis-regulated ASD child might appear agitated, broken down, or in his own world, depending on the child’s preferred coping method. The caregiver’s goal, then, is to help him become regulated again.
Dr. Greenspan believes that, “by focusing on the special way a child understands incoming information and planning the response that goes out, we can help children with their processing difficulties and eventually turn those difficulties into strengths.” Common processing difficulties in children with ASD are:
- Visual-Spatial Processing
- Auditory Processing
- Tactile Processing
- Vestibular Processing (Sense of motion and equilibrium)
- Proprioceptive Processing (perception of movement and spatial orientation arising in stimuli from the body)
- Olfactory Processing
What exactly do these mean? Well, let me give you an example of the first term, “visual-spatial processing.” My son Nathan is hyper-sensitive to visual stimuli, so if the television is on, he can’t hear us. I have to cover his eyes first to get his attention. This is probably common in many typically developing children, as well, but it is a particular issue with my son. In addition, copying the homework list (written by his teacher) from the whiteboard onto his notebook is a huge challenge. He has to first read the list on the board from a distance, remember each item, look down on his notebook, which is right on his desk, and then coordinate his right hand to use the pencil to write, all without getting distracted by the ongoing stimuli around him, such as the other pupils’ movements. I imagine that during this process, he forgets what he has read on the white board, or even forgets what he is trying to do next. He hasn’t copied the list since the second week of school in September last year.
In my next segment, I will continue with more examples of the difficulties that children with ASD face when processing the various types of sensory information, beginning with auditory processing.
(By Kumiko Anicich)
Husbands and Wives
It is not so hard to get your husband to do what you want. The trick is to not look like you are trying to control or manipulate him. Make him think that you are relying on him instead. Although this is a manipulation of sorts, the result is generally quite different. When you ask your husband for a favor, tell him, “You are such a reliable man. It can’t be done without you. I really need you. Thank you.” More than likely you will be successful.
Though I may be a “bad wife” who tricks her husband, the example of my friend Mrs. I, who is genuinely devoted to her husband, has touched a chord with me. Due to the nature of his job, he always comes home after 10 p.m. and eats his dinner then. Mrs. I, obviously, has already finished dinner with her children, but she still joins her husband at the table each night and spends time with him. Mrs. I has a baby and a daughter, so I am sure she is very busy during the day. If I were her, I would go to sleep without waiting for him, or indulge myself with a good book. During the day, I am so busy with my four children that I hardly have time to sit down even when I’m eating. So it’s hard for me to imagine having any spare time, much less spending it with my husband. Of course, I think that it would be nice for a husband to have his wife stay and talk with him when he gets home from work. And I also know that if I tell myself that I am too busy to talk with him now, that I will spend time with him when the kids grow up, we will surely end up with very little to talk about. Actually, I recently realized that I am even too lazy to say good morning to my husband. There is a TV commercial jingle from my childhood that goes something like, “It’s best when a husband is healthy and away from home.” I never really understood what it meant at the time, but now I do.
A friend of mine once told me that a woman needs to feel enraptured by something beautiful no matter how old she becomes. Unfortunately, watching my husband does not arouse that kind of passion in me. No way! He is just too every-day, but there are some captivating, handsome men (like movie stars) who do make my heart race. When I told my husband this, he confidently said that no man is better than he is. It certainly seemed that way 9 years ago when we got married. At that time, I was 24 and believed in the Japanese notion that single women over 25 were “leftovers,” unwanted and “on sale,” like a Christmas cake after the 25th. If I had even the slightest idea that I might find a better man than my husband, I surely would not have married him, so I must have thought he was the best man in the world.
By the way, I think that what prevents incest is not our genes, but the fact that we don’t feel attracted to people we spend years growing up with. Now that I have been with my husband for almost 10 years, my feelings towards him are similar to what I felt for my brother when I was a child. In other words, it is impossible to be enamored of him. But even if I had married a handsome heartthrob, he would only enthrall me for a couple of years and then I would surely be singing, “It’s best when a husband is healthy and away from home.” At 34, I am old enough to know this.
In the end, I remind myself that since our children will fly away sooner or later, it is better to get along with my husband. I should follow Mrs. I’s example – be devoted to my husband and genuinely rely on him instead of trying to control or manipulate him.
(By Michiko Yu)
Editor’s note:
Due to the high price of gasoline, now my family enjoys riding the Metro and buses. Although it is time consuming, using public transportation is part of the fun. Hopefully more people will travel by bus and the air quality will improve. Thank you for reading Papas &Mamas and I appreciate all the members who have been contributing articles. Have a great summer!Backnumber
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