Kodomo no Ie Parents’ Association Newsletter
1: Life is for Learning2: Remembering Papa
3: Water
4: Information Corner and Recipe by Natalie Matsuno
No.38 June 2010
From the President
It is amazing to see how young children flourish at KNI. In quite the same way, I was blessed with many very precious experiences during this school year. Although it has been a busy year keeping up with school events at the four schools my two children attended, I enjoyed fulfilling my role as president of the Parent Association. Thank you to everyone for your support. I am so grateful for everyone’s participation in the many aspects of school life and activities. Whether you are continuing on or departing from KNI, have a great summer and let’s welcome the new school year with renewed hopes.I wish you much happiness and prosperity.
With much gratitude,
Yoshiko Nakamura
Life is for Learning
Tashi Ohnsman (Neko’s mom)“Reading makes you smart” said my big sister, who was always right. As a child I adored her so much I instantly became a book worm. I won gift cards every month for being one of the most frequent readers by the library at my middle school. My sister was right. I turned into a straight-A student by the time I was in high school.
I couldn’t read for a year following the birth of my daughter, except for a single book written in English. Reading that book was such a mistake. I wasted my time and money. I wouldn’t reveal the title of it because I have nothing good to say about it… it’s called “The Baby Whisperer”. I learned tremendously from other books I read on raising children. Child rearing is one of the toughest jobs you can have and I feel I must take in all knowledge available. I’d like to share some of it with you.
Ko Hagihara – all the books he’s written so far
He has a website under the name of Pikkari-san in which he provides valuable insights for troubled parents through Q&As. My daughter was handful and difficult, crying, screaming and throwing fits every day in the first several years of her life. I was exhausted as a new parent and started to feel I really needed to see a therapist. His books saved me. Saved me money too.
My rather sweeping summary of his books is that you should hold your child when he’s out of control. Give him a bear hug even when he appears to reject it. Hold on tight even you have to fight. It works especially with a child who has withdrawn and appears to have little interest in physical interaction with you. He may appear to be independent but he’s trying to protect either himself or his parents for reasons he’s too young to explain. So you need to let him know it’s okay to let the guard down and be a baby sometimes. A mommy friend of mine said cynically “so everything’s solved just by giving a hug, huh?” But it worked with my daughter. In her case, she was just out of control. She calmed down and that made me feel less stressed. I was less stressed so she calmed down even more.
Daiji Akehashi – “Kosodate Happy Advice 1 to 3” and other books
A mommy friend of mine who was in a constant struggle with her twins loaned me some of Daiji Akehashi’s books. They are full of wonderful tips: No matter how unreasonable your child may sound, you should try to sympathize with her. Try not to correct her attitude or scold her. If she feels that you understand, she can trust you more and her self esteem gets stronger and she feels she’s worthwhile. When you need to discipline your child, the best strategy is to start with praising her, then tell her gently what was wrong and end by praising her again. For example, she hits her friend:
1. Ask her why. She tells you that her friend took her toy away.
2. First and most important, let her know that you understand by saying something like “I would get upset too, if someone did the same to me”.
3. Tell her that hitting is not good and she should use words instead so she knows what she should do the next time.
4. Last, tell her something good about her like “I’m proud of you because you always let your friends use your toys when they ask”.
On the contrary, many parents make a mistake of scolding their children first, then praise them a little bit and end their conversation by scolding again. If you keep doing it, your child only remembers the fact she was scolded and builds up hard feelings toward you and ends up with low self-esteem.
The author also teaches Japanese dads in traditional Japanese environment, where the mom raises the children on her own and the dad stays away for work all day long, that the most important thing in healthy child rearing is to care for the mom: Do not blame her for children’s problems; do not become a big child yourself; never criticize her when she’s complaining; do not try to be the man who solves problems. Just listen and thank her for her hard work. She only needs someone who listens. She feels much better if she knows that you understand. If the mom has peace of mind, so do the children.
Nobuyoshi Hirai – “Good Children and Bad Children”
A good child is independent-minded, lively and doesn’t always do what you tell him to do. You should be alarmed if he always does what you want or his teacher starts to tell you how “good” and easy he is. If so, you may need to ask yourself whether you’ve been telling him what to do or what not to do all the time. It’s your need, not his, to guide him because you feel you know better. Give your child lots of opportunities to make mistakes and learn from them. Scolding is not necessary. You don’t even need to discipline him. Treat him with respect and show him the way you treat others with respect, he learns to do the same. Give him lots of freedom, he learns to be independent.
No other book had told me there’s absolutely no need to scold your children. I often hear advice such as use your quiet voice, don’t take it personally and don’t yell. It’s hard to stay calm all the time but at least I know losing my cool and raising my voice don’t work and they will only keep my daughter away from me when she’s a teenager.
Chikara Oyano – “Oyaryoku de kimaru!” and other books
The author shares his experience-backed knowledge as a teacher in his wonderful books and website. He recommends you help your child’s educational development by satisfying her emotional needs rather than using text books. If your child is interested in something other than studying, encourage her. Let her do it all she wants (unless, of course, it’s dangerous). It gives her confidence if she feels she’s the best in something. If she’s confident in one thing, she’s ready to try other things too. Keep no negative thoughts, try to be positive with your child. Stop finding her flaws, start looking for small good things she does. Tell her how great she is when you find one. If she’s slow, don’t tell her to hurry up. Instead, tell her it’s good that she’s taking time. Speak of good things about her in front of her. She’ll be happy and try to live up to it. Positive words are very powerful. Tell her that she’ll be a great inventor because she’s good at crafts or she’ll have lots of great friends because she’s very nice to others. When you have to discipline her, don’t be emotional, use “I” messages in a calm voice. Remember it’s always what she did that was wrong, not herself. The author has written several other books and are they all good.
Dorothy Law Nolte – Children Learn What They Live
Her poem from this book is so famous you may have heard it before. I have it in both English and Japanese on my fridge. You can learn more about her insight on the internet.
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Remembering Papa
By Greg HarrisonSpring has always been a time for change, although for me, this particular spring has been tumultuous. My heart mourns the passing of my dear father, or as Kazuo and Eiji refer to him, “Papa”, who passed away in early May, at his home, peacefully. I do miss him dearly. As many
have comforted me with their kind thoughts and sympathy, one piece of advice that seems to stand out is this: “Remember all the wonderful
memories with your father.”
Meanwhile, here at Kodomo No Ie, this spring has brought a magnificent change in the appearance of the playground. Everyone seems to love the new play surfaces and overall appearance, myself included. However, many of us deeply miss the dirt. As I think back over the six years of being a parent at Kodomo No Ie, perhaps more than any other physical feature, this was a wonderful place to dig in the dirt. I do miss the dirt too.
Do not underestimate the importance of dirt. Digging in the dirt – unstructured play, reaching hands into the earth and shaping it, adding water, building tunnels or making mud pies, this is the foundation of all learning. That’s right: I believe that digging in the dirt is the foundation of all learning. The worlds that have been created by children digging and playing in the dirt are the starships of language, social interaction and story-telling. These worlds have more meaning and have more lasting impact, than any book lesson. In fact, these connections are second only to the physical bond between mother and child, and I think that makes sense, for these are the bonds to our Mother Earth.
Children instinctively are drawn to playing in the dirt, and I was no different as a child. My dad certainly encouraged it, and for that I am thankful. He was a modest man who was grounded in the earth, and loved music and science. And growing up, I spent hours playing in the dirt with my siblings. We travelled to imaginary places and invented characters and situations, while making tunnels, volcanoes, and other creations that now inhabit the forgotten recesses of my mind. As I got older, playing in the dirt evolved into gardening. Our family had an enormous garden and we raised a cornucopia of fruits and vegetables, as well as many fond memories. Through gardening, our relationship with the dirt deepened, and our love for the earth grew. We became connected with the seasons. It became our nature to care for the soil, delight in the earthworms, feel the texture, absorb the colors, and embrace the smells. Plant seeds, and add water, and experience the joy of life sprouting from the earth, culminating eventually in food that we used to nourish ourselves. My dad was there, every step of the way, teaching us about the earth, but also teaching us about life itself.
And now as I dwell on the lessons of my father, I am drawn back to the earth, and living things and the cycles of life. And I am finding solace once again, in dirt.
Water
By Kumiko AnicichOur bodies are 72 percent water. Water is especially critical to organs like skin (80% water), brain (85%), blood (90%), and liver (96%). It is also essential to bodily functions such as lubricating the joints, sending messages from the brain and nervous system to cells, and is also needed for the liver to convert fat into energy.
What’s important, therefore, is to drink clean water without chemicals and contaminants. We can’t see the chemicals and contaminants in water with the naked eye, so if we end up drinking unfiltered water, our kidneys and liver become the filter. Unfortunately, we are exposed to so much pollution and so many chemicals in our daily lives such as in paint, dry cleaning, and from food additives, it is even more critical that we drink chemical-free water to flush toxins out of our bodies.
Some of you might think that there are no chemicals in tap water because your city’s “Water Quality Report” doesn’t show any. Only 88 chemicals are regulated in the report, but more than 75,000 kinds of chemicals are used in today’s society. Out of those, 2,900 carcinogen chemicals are already confirmed by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) to be present in the US water supply.
Additionally, municipal water is treated with chlorine, which is proven to cause cancer by the EPA. But if the municipal water were not treated with chlorine, diseases like dysentery could become a major problem.
Use filtered water for washing vegetables and other ingredients for cooking as well because they absorb chlorine during the wash.
Also, don’t forget to use a filter for shower and bath water. Chemicals are more readily absorbed through the skin which has pores that open when exposed to warm water. Two-thirds of the chlorine going into the body is said to be from bathing.
So, what filtration system is best? The most effective type is point-of-use water filters, which filter the water right at the faucet. This prevents filtered water from recontamination by plastic bottles and pipes. They are more economical than popular pitcher-type filters when comparing the cost per gallon.
There are different kinds of filtration methods as well. In a distilled filtration system, chemicals cannot be taken out but minerals can be because chemicals vaporize at a lower temperature than water. In a reverse osmosis filtration system where contaminants are taken out by letting the water go through a screen-type filter, chemicals cannot be taken out and minerals can be because the molecules of the chemicals are smaller and those of the minerals are bigger than the screen.
Bottled water is very popular, but it is not regulated by the government as strictly as the water filtration industry. Bottled water just has to be as good as tap water. Isn’t that disappointing? Buying bottled water is more expensive per gallon than filtering water at home, and we waste natural resources to make these bottles and then put trash into the environment.
When buying a water filtration system, look for a model with certifications from organizations like the National Sanitation Foundation(NSL) and Underwriters Laboratories (UL). Also, ask manufacturers for a “Performance Data Sheet” to compare which models take out more chemicals and contaminants.
To learn more about research on water, check out the following web sites: WHO (World Health Organization) www.who.int, NRDC (Natural Resources Defense Council) www.nrdc.org, and EPA www.epa.gov.
Information Corner and Recipe by Natalie Matsuno
Things to do:
tanakafarms I haven't been here myself but we plan to go this summer.
Deb’s Park This is fun for kids. There is a short hiking trail, small nature center, lots of room to run around, a waterfall that the kids can create by pumping water pumps at the top of the trail.
Restaurants:
Central Park Restaurant We usually go here for breakfast but I have friends who say that dinner is very good, too. There is a kids menu. It's across the street from Central Park in Pasadena, south of Old Town, where the kids can play and chase squirrels.
Recipes:
This is my Norwegian mother-in-law's recipe for a very delicious lasagna. It's a little time intensive but if you make the sauce the day before it's actually not too difficult.
Norwegian Lasagna
2 Large cans (about 1 pound, 13 ounces) Italian style tomatoes
4 - 8 ounce cans tomato sauce
2 tsp salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
2 tsp oregano
2 tsp onion salt
2 cups mince onions 2 cloves minced garlic
2 Tbsp salad oil
2 pounds ground lean chuck or round
1 pound lasagna noodles
1.5 pounds ricotta cheese
1 pound mozzarella cheese, thinly sliced or shredded
1 cup parmesan cheese, grated
In large saucepan combine tomatoes with salt, oregano, pepper and onion salt. Simmer uncovered.
In skillet, saute onions until translucent then add garlic. Add ground meat and cook until meat loses red color.
Combine meat mixture with tomato sauce and simmer, covered, about 2.5 hours.
Cook lasagna noodles according to package directions. Drain. (or use uncooked lasagna noodle sheets that will cook while the lasagna bakes).
Use two 13" x9" X 2" baking pans (split ingredients). Combine in this order:
Start with several spoonfuls of sauce.
Top with layer of noodles and half of ricotta.
Top with half of the mozzarella and half the parmesan.
Place several spoonfuls of sauce.
Top each with layer of noodles and half of ricotta.
Top with half the mozzarella and half the parmesan.
Top with several spoonfuls of sauce.
Bake at 350 degrees until cornes are bubbly and center is hot through (45 minutes to one hour. Let stand 15 minutes before serving.
If frozen, thaw in refrigerator overnight.
Serves 6-8 persons, each pan.
Editor’s Notes
Thank you, contributors, for the great articles. Thank you Natalie Matsuno for your useful information, yummy recipes (web version only) and your assistance in getting the Papas & Mamas out.Have a great summer everyone! Nami Hayashi
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